50 Audience Members Lost In The Woods

(set: $score to it + 1) One point for choosing wisely. You follow the path as it winds its way down a gentle slope. Up ahead, three long trestle tables await you in a clearing, stacked with an assortment of delicious-smelling fruit tarts, fancies, custard slices, macarons, eclaires, cupcakes, swiss rolls, palmiers, danishes, croissants, choclatines and muffins. Your mouth waters, and you see the desire glinting in the eyes of the audience members all around you. Will you eat from the tables? Or will you call out to find out who left all this food here? You must all decide together. [[Eat]] [[Call out]]

Sensing an obvious trap by whoever brought you here, you take the narrow path to the right, and receive one point for justified paranoia(set: $score to it + 1). But the way ahead is not easy. Thorn bushes and brambles cut your legs and arms as you trudge through the marshy forest undergrowth. After an hour of arduous toil through this dense and hostile mire, you are startled when the foliage ahead of you shakes, and a man bursts from it. His clothes are ragged and his eyes are wild. He is holding his neck to cover an obvious bite wound, and dried blood speckles his torn shirt. "Help me," he slurs. He doesn't seem well. "I've been out here for days. I'm so hungry. Please help!" Do you allow the man to approach your group, or do you make him move on? [[Rescue man]] [[Make him leave]]

(set: $score to it + 1)One point for living in the moment. All $people of you descend on the tables and gorge yourselves on treat after treat. You can't help yourself – the flavour reminds you of childhood, and even the pastries that are normally not to your liking, like the macarons, are absolutely delicious. You eat a three of the macarons, a chocolate eclaire, a lemon meringue tartlet and a slice of ganauche. Soon all three trestle tables are bare, with nothing left but a thick dusting of crumbs and flakes. You are feeling refreshed, and ready to continue exploring this mysterious forest. But as you walk away from the tables, a discomfort grips you. A tickling feeling rises up at the back of your throat. Around you, the other (set: $lesspeople to $people-1)$lesspeople audience members begin to sputter and cough. The tingling feeling fills your mouth and over your lips, spreading out across your face and down your shoulders, then your arms, then your chest. Next to you, you see someone's face peeling and flaking like a pie crust. When they reach up to touch it, their hand crumbles off, and red jam oozes out. All of you are turning to pastry. The ground seethes. Millions of ants are pouring out of the foliage, ready to nibble on your deliciously baked bodies. Do you run off into the forest? Or do you climb up onto the tables for safety? Time for some democracy! [[Run]] [[Tables]]

(set: $score to it + 1) One point for being considerate. You call out into the dark forest and wait, but there's no response. Does anyone here wants to go ahead and eat some of the pastries? No vote, just put up your hand if you're hungry. [[Some]] [[None]]

(set: $score to it + 1)One point for not getting trapped on the tables. As you run, you will need someone to bravely lead the way though the forest. Who's it going to be? Put up your hand if you think you're the fastest audience member. [[get name 3]]

(set: $score to it + 1) One point for quick action. You all climb up onto the tables to escape the ants. At first you are worried that the tables will collapse under the weight of $people bodies, but, surprisingly, the trestles hold, and the rustling and the chittering dies down as the insects disperse back into the undergrowth. But soon you realise why the tables didn't collapse. Your bodies are lighter. The trees and the tables seem to grow as you shrink. You try to climb off the table while you still can, but your legs aren't moving. You look down and see them falling into pieces and rolling across the table: Each piece a swiss roll leaking apricot jam. You claw your way towards the edge of the table, but your arms split open down their lengths, and custard bulges out of them as they turn into eclaires. Your chest melts into pecans and sticky toffee. You open your mouth to scream, but the only thing that comes out is a dusting of icing. Your head falls off and lands with a soft puffy thud on the wooden table. It is a jam-filled doughnut. The clearing is silent. Your body has become a dozen pieces of pastry scattered across the table, piled up with all the tarts and chocolatines and custard slices that were once the bodies of the other (set: $lesspeople to $people-1)$lesspeople audience members. You cannot move, you cannot talk, yet somehow you can still see, and you can still feel the table under you, and the cold air of the forest. After hours of agonising immobility, you hear voices. A group of people is coming down the path, wondering aloud how they got here from the next performance of this very show. Their eyes light up at the sight of you. They have a vote on whether to call out to whoever left the food here, or to eat you, and the decision is unanimous. You are helpless to move as they reach down with greedy fingers, and bring you up to their salivating mouthes. THE END. Congratulations! Your final score is $score points.

(set: $score to it + 1)One point for being good samaritans. The ragged man comes closer. "Thank you," he says, putting a grateful hand on $chair's shoulder. Then he lunges forward, and takes a bite out of $chair's neck. Blood spurts. $chair screams in pain, but still alive. When the ragged man has had his fill, he looks up at the rest of you with shreds of torn flesh dripping down his chin. He is more ragged already. His face is sprouting hair, his ears are elongating, and his eyes are yellow. "Mmm! That hits the spot!" Do you vote to rescue $chair? Or do you run off into the forest? [[Rescue X]] [[Escape X]]

(set: $score to it + 1)One point for recognising an obvious danger. You shout at the man and throw rocks. The sheer number of you – $people, to be exact – is enough to scare him away. "You'll regret this!" he shouts over his shoulder as he runs past you and disappears into the bushes. As if in reply to his call, you hear the wolves howl again, and this time, they are much closer. There's a rustling in the bracken, and you see yellow eyes flashing in the dark. Staring. Stalking. As one, you run. Who is going to bravely lead the way as you run through the forest? Which one of you thinks they are the fastest? [[get name 4]]

$chair is a danger to the group. Even if they aren't a werewolf, they could become one soon, and there's no reason to take any chances. Not if you already have a bunch of rocks and sturdy sticks. The execution is relatively swift, considering what you're using. Two or three dozen hits, and the job is done. (set: $score to it + 1)One point for making hard decisions. Unfortunately, the scent of blood draws unwanted attention. The wolves howl again, but this time, the call is not distant. You hear rustling in the foliage. Grey hairy bodies burst out of the bushes, charging towards you. You run. [[Flee the wolves]]

(set: $score to it + 1)One point for taking the humane route. You are not savages. You were in a theatre less than an hour ago, for goodness sakes! And if $chair starts to turn into a werewolf, you're sure you'll have time to do something about it. Wrong. The first sign of change is when $chair tilts their head back and lets out a blood-curdling howl. A dozen wolves howl back, answering the call, but this time, the howls are not distant. You hear rustling in the foliage. Grey hairy bodies burst out of the bushes, charging towards you. You all run. [[Flee the wolves]]

You hammer at the door, pleading for your life. (set: $score to it + 1)One point for recalcitrant humility. "What was that?" says the ragged man. "I can't heeeear you!" The wolves creep out of the undergrowth. Their eyes are focussed and unblinking. Their movements are co-ordinated and precise. You beat on the door. Splinters dig into your knuckles. Around you, people are shrieking and weeping. "Louder!" the ragged man calls out mockingly. The wolves charge forward. People all around you scream in pain as jaws clamp down on their arms, legs and throats with bone-crushing force. A wolf pounces on you, knocking you against the wall of the cabin. You rebound off it and fall to the ground. The wolf looms over you, pinning you down. You feel warm stinking breath on your face as it opens its mouth wide, and tears your throat open. Over your own screams, you hear the ragged man chuckling from the other side of the door. "That's nice and loud!" he says. "That's more like it!" THE END Congratulations! Your final score is $score points.

(set: $score to it + 1)One point for sneakiness. You move slowly around the cottage, keeping your back to the wall, facing outward so the wolves don't pounce on you from behind. The back of the cottage is built right on the edge of the ravine, and as you edge around it, you loosen stones and clumps of earth fall into the darkness. You find a window at the back, leading into a bathroom. The window is only open a crack and its hinges are rusty, but with your combined strength you force it open and squeeze in. When you're all inside, you close the window behind you. You are finally safe. You walk through to the main room of the house. The ragged man is standing by the door, and as you enter the room, he turns to you and grins. He is more ragged than you remember him. His face is sprouting hair, his ears are elongating, and his eyes are yellow. "Welcome to my home." He reaches out a clawed hand and un-bolts the front door. It swings outward. Some leaves blow in, followed by the wolves stalking slowly and confidently. Their jaws drip with saliva. "I ought to be angry," growls the grinning ragged man, "but I told you I was hungry." THE END Congratulations! Your final score is $score points.

All of you who had your hands up eat pastries from the tables, and through full mouths you mumble about how delicious and flaky they are. (set: $score to it + 1) One point for living in the moment. There's a rustling from the foliage. You look up and see a huge form silhouetted against the sky, blocking out the moon: A gigantic creature made from tarts, macarons, fruit pies, croissants and fig rolls. It sees what you are doing, and gives a gutteral roar. "My babies!" And, on the table, you see the pastries unfurling. Arms, legs and tiny faces fold out from the swiss rolls, chocolate logs, custard slices and all the rest of the delicious baked goods. "Our brothers! Our sisters! Who ate them?" Before you can respond, their pastry monster mother reaches down and grabs $chair around the waist. "You!" It says. "You lead these people, so you will pay for their choices!" It raises $chair up to a mouth filled with teeth-spikes of razor-sharp toffee. The rest of you: Do you rescue $chair? Or do you run away while you still can? [[Run Away]] [[Rescue]]

Good for you. Solidarity. Sticking together. (set: $score to it + 1) One point for self control. There's a rustling from the foliage. You look up and see a huge form silhouetted against the sky, blocking out the moon: A gigantic creature made from tarts, macarons, fruit pies, croissants and fig rolls. It looks down and sees you, and it breaks into a wide custard-lipped grin. "Oh, good!" it rumbles. "The treats are here!" On the table, you see the pastries unfurling. Arms, legs and tiny faces fold out from the swiss rolls, chocolate logs, custard slices and pastries. "Yummy treats! Yummy treats!" they say. Before you can run, the pastry monster mother reaches down and grabs $chair around the waist. It raises them up to a mouth filled with teeth-spikes of razor-sharp toffee. The rest of you: Do you rescue $chair? Or do you run away while you still can? [[Run Away]] [[Rescue]]

We need someone to lead the way though the forest. Who's it going to be? Who thinks they are the fastest audience member? What's your name? [[get name 2]]

(set: $score to it + 1) One point for doing the right thing. In a display of solidarity, you charge at the pastry monster mother and pull $chair from its icing-glazed grip. The beast raises a massive baked foot, and the bottom of it is most certainly not soggy. It will crush half of you for your impudence. Which half of the room will it crush? $chair, it's your choice! (TO THE HALF THAT DIES) Splat. The foot comes down, and all of you on this side of the audience are flattened together into a thin meat-and-bone crepe. (TO THE HALF THAT LIVES) The rest of you, you flee the pastry monster, and run off through the bramble-filled undergrowth. Behind you, you hear the delighted coos and whoops of the pastry babies as they leap down from the trestle table to join in the hunt. [[Run Away]]

(set: $score to it + 1)The rest of you get one point for surviving. Up ahead, you see a flickering light through the branches. A log-cabin rests in the forest, with a warm light glowing in the window. You run to it and hammer on the wooden door, begging to be let in. The door swings open, and an elderly woman ushers you through. "Quickly, inside!" You all pour into the warm cabin, and the door slams closed behind you. "Thank goodness," the woman says. "You wouldn't have lasted long out there." For the first time, you notice the scent of cinnamon in the air, and realise that the logs that the cabin is made from aren't wood, but gingerbread. The only metal thing is the heavy bar across the door. The woman smiles. "Now that you're inside, I bet you'll last me a good few days." You charge at the the door and try to open it, but your pastry arms crumble under the weight of the bar. You strike at the old woman in desparation, but your arms are gone and your stubs flail harmlessly in the air. The woman takes out a pot of hot streaming tea, and smiles. "Now, dearies. Who wants to be dunked first?" And we could decide that by vote too, but truthfully, it doesn't matter, because for those remaining of you, this is THE END Congratulations! Your final score is $score points.

Who is going to bravely lead the way as you run through the forest? Who of you thinks that they're the fastest runner? [[get name 5]]

(set: $score to it + 1)One more point for moral fortitude. You all grab rocks and sturdy fallen branches from the forest floor, and pelt the werewolf. The creature is no match for $lesspeople people. It growls and glares with yellow eyes, then slinks back into the foliage. Unfortunately, $chair now has a wound on their neck. For someone who has had such a traumatising neck injury, they look surprisingly well. Suspiciously well, even. In the moonlight, their muscles are taut and their hair is looking unusually lusterous. Do you all kill $chair? Or do you let them live? [[Kill the chairperson]] [[Let them live]]

Who is going to bravely lead the way as you run through the forest? Vote. You flee between the trees, following X. The foliage behind you shivers as the wolves stalk you, keeping pace, staying hidden. They're so close that you catch whiffs of bony breath. Up ahead you hear X's scream. You stop just in time to keep yourself from falling into a deep ravine that cuts across the forest. You see X's body tumbling down, and smashing on the rocks far below. Sorry, X. Your path is blocked. You turn and see the wolves creeping out of the undergrowth. Their eyes are focussed and unblinking. Their movements are co-ordinated and precise. They charge forward as one. People all around you scream in pain as jaws clamp down on their arms, legs and throats with bone-crushing force. A wolf pounces on you, knocking you to the ground. It looms over you, pinning you down. You feel warm stinking breath on your face as it opens its mouth wide, and tears at your throat. [[Turn to wolf]]

Hunger. It's all you know now. Hunger, and a vast world of scent. You following your pack leader, the wolf who was once $chair. They lead you towards the most interesting smell of in the forest: the scent of a large group of unturned humans. As you approach them, slowly and stealthily, your sharp ears overhear their mundane chatter. "I don't understand it! One moment we were all at the March 2025 (or Sunday) performance of Play Things, and the next moment we're here!" You stalk forward, paws treading lightly on the forest floor, coordinating your movements with the wolves on either side of you. The pack leader charges forward, and at their signal, you pounce out of hiding. The human you land on doesn't even have time to scream before you crush their larynx in your jaws. The ragged man was right. That really does hit the spot. THE END Congratulations! Your final score is $score points.

(set: $theatre to (prompt: "What is the venue?","Theatre Arts"))(set: $prompt to (prompt: "How many people are attending?","50")) (set: $people to (num: $prompt)) (text-size: 2)[$people Audience Members Lost In The Woods] [[Continue | Opening]]

(set: $score to 0) Darkness. You sit up on the forest floor, confused. Moonlight shines through jagged branches. All around you, (set: $lesspeople to $people-1)$lesspeople of your fellow audience members are getting to their feet. Chairs, black curtains and wooden boards are strewn across the ground: The contents of the $theatre auditorium. Everyone and everything inside it has been transported to this dark and mysterious place. Up ahead are two paths. The left path is wide, and the smell of delicious baked goods wafts on the air. The other path, the path on the right, is dark and narrow and lined with brambles. Somewhere along it, a wolf howls. A cold certainty in your heart tells you that it would be unwise to split up. You will need to decide which way to go... as a group. You must choose a chairperson to lead the vote. Do we have any volunteers? [[Get name]]

(set: $score to it + 1)Congratulations. You have successfully committed to collective action. You all get one point. It's time for you to vote. So to remind you: The path to the left smells like delicious baked goods, and the path on the right has wolves. Hands up who wants cake. Hands up who wants wolves. $chair, after every vote, it is your job to loudly announce what the people have decided. Which one had more hands? [[Left]] [[Right]]

(set: $chair to (prompt: "Who is the chairperson?","Jenny")) [[Continue vote]]

Chairperson: $chair ---

(set: $name2 to (prompt: "Who is the fastest?","Rita")) [[Run away 2]]

You flee between the trees, following $name2. The foliage behind you shivers as a the tiny pastry creatures chase behind you greedily, flooding the forest like a slow tsunami. Behind them, the pastry mother monster pushes trees over as she follows her family. She's so close that flakes of pastry scatter down on you as you run. Up ahead you hear $name2's scream. You stop just in time to keep yourself from falling into a beep ravine that cuts across the forest. You see $name2's body tumbling down, and smashing on the rocks far below. Sorry, $name2. The rest of you have nowhere to go. You turn to see the pastry creatures coming out of the bracken and staring at you with greedy chocolate button eyes. Their mother looms above them. "Go on," she rumbles to her children. "Dig in." They pounce on you. A palmier and an croissant start climbing your legs. You kick them away, but you feel a weight on your shoulder. A custard slice sinks its sharp sugar teeth into your jugular. You feel dizzy. The world begins to spin like a custard swirl. Macarons and tartlets swarm all over your body, biting your arms, body and face. As you collapse you see a giant baked hand reaching down to you, with its eclair fingers splayed. The pastry babies part, allowing their mother to pick you up. She raises your injured body high into the air, above the tops of the tallest trees. Her mouth opens below you, and you smell pecans and caramel. She lets you dangle there for a moment, and then drops you into her vast custard-lipped mouth. As hard toffee teeth grind down, you hear the rumbling words: "Mmm. I should stop but they're just so delicious." THE END Congratulations! Your final score is $score points.

You flee between the trees, following $name3. The foliage behind you shivers as a trillion ants chase behind, flooding the forest like a slow tsunami. Flakes of pastry fly off you as the bracken whips your legs. Up ahead you hear the sound of running water. A babbling brook cuts through the midnight glade. $name3 crosses the river first, and immediately begins to dissolve as their pastry body absorbs the water of the brook. They scream and claw at the air as their legs become soggy and collapse under them. Their torso drops into the water, and breaks apart in the swirling water. Fragments of his face bob on the water as they are washed downstream. The rest of you stop before you reach the brook, and frantically search for another way to cross. A little way upstream you find a rotting tree-trunk that makes a natural bridge across the stream. Only half of you will be able to make it across before it collapses. $chair, you get to decide: Which half of the audience will go first, the left half or the right half? (TO THE HALF THAT DIES) As the last of those traitors crosses the river, the soggy log cracks in half and falls into the water, cutting off your only escape. The vegetation behind you shakes, and a billion ant pour out of it. They crawl all over you, nibbling holes in your soft pastry body and crawling around under your flaky skin. You feel yourself being hollowed out by millions of tiny pincers. They eat and leave no crumbs. You are dead. (TO THE HALF THAT LIVES) [[Cottage]]

(set: $name3 to (prompt: "Who is the fastest?","Rita")) [[Run 2]]

(set: $name4 to (prompt: "Who is the fastest?","Rita")) [[make him leave 2]]

You flee between the trees, following $name4. The foliage behind you shivers as the wolves silently stalk you, keeping pace, staying hidden. They're so close that you catch a whiff of bony breath. Up ahead you hear $name4's's scream. You stop just in time to keep yourself from falling into a deep ravine that cuts across the forest. You see $name4's body tumbling down, and smashing on the rocks far below. Sorry, $name4. (set: $people to it -1) The rest of you run parallel to the ravine. Up ahead, you see a glimmer of light flickering through the branches. A log-cabin rests on an overhang, with a warm light glowing in the window. You run to it, and hammer on the door. "Well, well, well!" comes a voice from inside. "Look who it is! The $people people who wouldn't let me join them!" Eyes glint in the forest all around. The wolves are circling. [[Beg to be let in]] [[Try to sneak in through a back window]]

(set: $name5 to (prompt: "Who is the fastest?","Rita")) [[escape x 2]]

You flee between the trees, following $name5. The foliage behind you shivers. You see flashes of yellow eyes in the darkness. A pack of wolves is stalking you, keeping pace, staying hidden. They're so close that you catch whiffs of bony breath. Up ahead you hear $name5's scream. You stop just in time to keep yourself from falling into a deep ravine that cuts across the forest. You see $name5's body tumbling down, and smashing on the rocks far below. Sorry, $name5. The ravine blocks your path. You turn to see the wolves creeping out of the undergrowth, boxing you in. Their eyes are focussed and unblinking. Their movements are co-ordinated and precise. They charge forward as one. People all around you scream in pain as jaws clamp down on their arms, legs and throats with bone-crushing force. A wolf pounces on you, knocking you to the ground. It looms over you, pinning you down. You feel warm stinking breath on your face as it opens its mouth wide, and tears at your throat. [[Turn to wolf]]